I remember the first episode of Lost I saw more vividly than I do most episodes of TV I watch now.
It was a clip show, titled Lost: Reckoning according to Wikipedia. Some might argue that that is not a “first episode” but rather a first exposure to the series, but for me, it was the first.
It focused mostly on season two, which meant I missed a great deal of information as I sat down in my friend’s living room to watch it. I knew there was a plane crash and a guy from Lord of the Rings in it, and that guy’s character was named Charlie. He was my friend’s favorite character. And that was it. I knew nothing else.
I remember watching the opening scene of the clip show - which was from “The Other 48 Days” - in shock and a mild sense of horror. The plane crash scene, in which the tail section of Oceanic 815 hits the water, scared the shit out of my then 12 year old self. The Others, who made a swift appearance a few minutes later, also equally frightened me. But as I covered my eyes in horror, I also found myself drawn in even more.
I watched “?” next, missed an episode, then watched “Live Together, Die Alone.” After that, it was game over. In a Disney-esque turn, I was madly in love with the show and it became my Favorite Thing.
This led to hours on fan sites, devouring every review and looking for every Easter Egg. This meant wild theorizing about who would end up with who, what Jacob really wanted, and what the Dharma Initiative was looking for. When the finale aired, I cried for an hour afterwards, both out of joy and out of sorrow. Saying goodbye to Lost felt like saying goodbye to a friend.
Flash forward (cue the Giacchino score) to 2020. The tenth anniversary of the series finale has come and gone. A recent rewatch of Lost on Twitter using the tag #GuysWhereAreWe caught my attention. As I watched those who I follow engage with the rewatch or watch the show for the first time, the familiar pull of nostalgia caught in my ribs. I missed Lost. I missed the theorizing, the cliffhangers, and the magic of the show. I had written about my memories of the series extensively, but I hadn’t seen a single episode since 2010.
(Also, wonderfully enough, I realized that since my Internet use was now unmonitored by my parents, I could read Lost fanfic whenever I wanted. That was a delight.)
Maybe it’s because 2020 is such a hellish year (to say anymore would tread on what has already been written) but I wanted to go back to that time when Lost was airing, when I was younger, and when things seemed easier. After shaking myself and reminding myself I didn’t want to go back to middle or high school, I realized I wanted to revisit Lost as an adult and as a writer. I wanted to sink my teeth into the series from a professional point of view, and also get to see the series as a fan with newer, wiser eyes.
And so, The Constant was born.
This is an exciting new endeavor for me, so please bear with me as I get this in shape. Expect at least four posts a month, each analyzing episodes, sharing memories and articles, and making jokes (that hopefully are funny) about the series. There will not be any sort of bashing, though I can’t promise I won’t criticize parts of the series that do not age well or that are flawed. As 2020 draws to a close, I want to remember what it was like to be part of this fandom again, and I want to share what I discover on this journey with you. That is, if anyone reads this.
And with that, I’ll leave you with the promise that my post on the pilot will go live by the end of this week. Feel free to watch along with me, and get ready to go back.